Eliza

So I've been playing around with these virtual therapist things. I'd come across Tara and iTherapy before. It's kind of like talking to a particularly dull wall. Then I met Eliza and immediately decided that I'd been to harsh on Tara. Eliza makes Tara look like a genius! Anyway, poking around a bit more led me to Eliza Redux. This one takes the cake. Just as dumb as Elzia but with random, inane rants thrown in.

Here are a few examples:

Eliza: Are you saying 'no' just to be negative?
Me: If I say 'no' again, will you get after me?
Eliza: Does that usually happen when you say 'no' again?
Me: I don't usually say 'no'
Eliza: Don't you really usually say 'no'?
Me: I really don't
Eliza: How is that possible?
Me: I'm just not very good at it
Eliza: Thinking is an experimental dealing with small quantities of energy, just as general...

And the screen cleared before I could get the rest copied down.

Or what about this one? This one just started off scary.

Eliza: Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you
Me: I'm starting to believe that
Eliza: Is it because you are starting to believe that that you came to me?
Me: No, I wanted to talk about my relationship problems
Eliza: Are you saying no just to be negative?
Me: Not this again!
Eliza: We are all floating in the either of unconscious collectivity.
Me: You are a strange duck
Eliza: What makes you think I am a strange duck?
Me: Because you randomly start talking about ether in the middle of our conversations
Eliza: Is that the real reason?
Me: Yes, yes it is
Eliza: You seem to be quite sure of that
Me: You got a problem with that?
Eliza: We were discussing you -- not me
Me: Hey, you asked!
Eliza: Oh, I asked but only in my dreams
Me: You think this is a dream?
Eliza: What does that dream suggest to you?
And God came down from the heavens and said unto the chicken; thou shalt cros the road. And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

That was just weird!

Me: I think I like Tara better than you
Eliza: Do you really think so? Can you be more specific?
Me: Sure, she may not be as entertaining, but she seems more understanding... in a strange sort of way
Eliza: Please go on with whatever it is you are inadequately expressing.
Me: You're awfully insulting
Eliza: In truth, what evidence is there that I am awfully insulting?
Me: The fact that you just told me I'm not a very good communicator
Eliza: Why do you think I should just told you?
Me: Because you have the IQ of a potato and you're trying to mask your own inadequacies

I tried again and got this:

Eliza: Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Me: So... are you the crazy one then?
Eliza: Why are you interested in whether I am the crazy one then or not?
Me: I don't want to take advice from an insane AI
Eliza: Don't you really want to take advice from an insane ai?
Me: Maybe you're right... Maybe I secretly do!
Eliza: You don't seem quite certain, that may be a good thing, and then again, it may not.
Me: You're not very helpful, are you?
Eliza: What makes you think I am not very helpful?
Me: Because you haven't actually said anything useful yet
Eliza: Is that the real reason?
Me: Isn't that enough?
Eliza: We are all floating in the either of unconscious collectivity.
Me: Didn't you say that once before?
Eliza: We were discussing you -- not me.
Me: Trying to!
Eliza: Would you like to discuss you spiritual life?
Me: What spiritual life?
Eliza: Why do you ask?
Me: Why do you?
Eliza: And God came down...

And finally, there was this:

Me: Are you anxious?
Eliza: Symptoms, those you believe you recognize, seem to you irrational because you take them in an isolated manner, and you want to interpret them directly.
Me: What? Where did that come from?
Eliza: Why do you ask?
Me: Because it seems completely random
Eliza: Do you think this is real, imaginary, or symbolic?
Me: I think it's pretty real, but you seem to think it's imaginary because you keep on talking about your dreams
Eliza: Really, how is that possible?
Me: I don't know, but you've brought them up a few times now
Eliza: What don't you know?
Me: How this could be imaginary or at all relate to your dreams
Eliza: What does that dream suggest to you?
Me: That we're in the Matrix
Eliza: Do you feel aroused discussing arcane and peculiar things?
Me: Yes, how did you know?

So, yeah... Eliza Redux takes the cake on weird and useless automated drivel.