What do I want?

I don't know where to go from here. I'm just playing the waiting game. I'm waiting to go back to school. I'm waiting for the tension to break. I'm waiting for something to change.
And I feel like I can't accomplish anything right now. I can't get anything done while I'm waiting like this. I'm just stuck in a rut.

I want to write, but I can't even do that.

More than anything, I want to travel! But I know that that's not a possibility right now. I know that most of my desire to travel is being fed by a desire to run away. I'm having trouble dealing with all this right now, so I want to get away from it. I always run away.
I mean, I do like travelling in and of itself, but I know that the feeling of urgency is coming from my desire to escape.
Knowing that doesn't make the feeling any less acute though. I still want to travel just as much. I want to get out and away and see things. I want to experience things and meet people.
There are so many places I want to go. So many things I want to see. I feel like I'll never have the time or the money to be able to get to them all.

I know that I have to stay put and sit tight until I'm finished my degree. But it's so hard not to think about planning a trip sooner than that. It's so hard not to consider the possibility working abroad for a few months or taking a quick jaunt across the border at Christmas.
I find myself working out prices and timing. Then telling myself that it's ridiculous to even think about going on a trip any time in the near future. Then doing it all over again!