Jealousy

I can't be happy for my friend when he's finally found someone he likes. But, this isn't new. It's not isolated to Raul either. I get that same twinge of jealousy and disappointment whenever one of my friends ends up in a relationship. Whenever they're even interested in anyone. Especially my male friends.

If one of my female friends finds a boyfriend, my reaction ranges from neutral to very minimal negative feelings. Make it a male friend finding a girlfriend however, and we have a different story! The situation borders on downright depressing.

Now, the initial thought on this might be that I'm actually interested in these guys and that's why I'm so upset when they start dating someone else. I think that has definitely factored into some of the situations I've encountered. But that's not the whole story. I run up against the same feelings even when I have no interest beyond the strictly platonic. Even when I have no reason to be jealous. Am I worried about losing their attention? Losing their friendship? Am I so self-absorbed that I need to have my friends focused on me all the time? Maybe I am...